Feeling so sad tonight. Sad but good- bizarre I know, but hey that’s me!

You see, there’s somewhere I should be tonight, celebrating someone whom I used to think of as family, and vice versa. I should be on the arm of someone whom I thought was my forever, but I’m not. I guess that’s just life, right?

Love comes and goes, and with it happiness (as we tend to couple the two together-regardless of if that’s true or not) and all we can do is learn to take the ups with the downs, as I have a million times over, and you know what, I’m A ok and now I’m good, truly! I know it’s all just part of this crazy path we call life- knowing that all that matters is living in the moment, enjoying all life has to throw at us, be it with or without someone to call mine. I’m happy just being me.

Would I wish it were different? That I could pick up the phone and celebrate you in person? Of course, but it isn’t and whilst that’s not my choice – I’ll respect it. it just is what it is.

So I’ll do it here instead. Maybe you’ll see it, maybe you won’t. Either way it actually doesn’t matter. I’ll know I said it, thought it albeit – from a far.

However and strangely, as sad as I am today, I’m not angry or bitter about where I’m at today, in general I’m very happy with my lot. I have so much to be thankful for and that’s something I never take for granted. but today I will reflect and sit in this sadness of what could have been, should have been, and tomorrow I’ll wake and carry on as I always do. This too shall pass.

Anyway Happy 60th birthday to you CP! I hope you enjoy the party. May life bring you all you need, want and love. xx