#thankful! 

I hope that I’m not normally a gushy kinda gal when it comes to this blog…. (pause for reaction?)

But today, Christmas Day, I’m going to take artistic licence and gush just a little and as it’s Christmas forgiveness is a given!!

So here I am, Annie over, and Oliver Twist just starting (two of my favs btw!) with a wondering mind. You see I’m so, so thankful for what I have and who I get to be that I’m almost crying at the thought.

I’m a good person (I think?). I try where I can to do my bit. Not just at Christmas but throughout the year. Many can say the same I know, so I’m not saying this to be any kind of martyr nor out of any sense of guilt or ego but merely because I recognise that I have a good life. Moreover, I recognise how different life could have been for me should the coin had landed on the flip side.  One day it’s there, the next it’s gone, so I guess it’s fair to say I have empathy with those down on their luck- in fact I have buckets of the bloody stuff! After all that could have been me-could still be me, who knows what tomorrow will bring hey?

So you know what- Fuck it, yes I’m thankful. I’m grateful. And I’ll never take what I have for granted because I get it!! I do truly get it!

But for now I’m good. I’m blessed. I earn a good amount, not millions by any stretch but enough to give my boys a great life. I have family and love in abundance. Friends who would defend and support me to the death. Two amazing happy and heathy boys. And the love of a great and wonderful man. What more could a gal ask for?

That said, life isn’t perfect.

Today I feel a tinge of sadness. As I thank my blessings for all I have, I can’t help but think of those missing.

This is our first Christmas without the matriarch of our family, my nana and boy is she missed, cranky smart arsed comments and all!

As I think of her and the hole she has left today at our table, and as I kiss my baby goodnight, exhausted and over fed, I can’t help but to think of all the mums and dads who don’t have that pleasure tonight. Those who have not shared today with their most precious of belongings, their children. And do you know what, it breaks my heart. Be it through illness, divorce, separation or the finality of death the sadness of the thought overwhelms me.

I know the pain I feel with my lovely nana not being here but as much as l loved her I simply cannot imagine not being with my boys today x

So yes I’m thankful. I’m grateful beyond belief but not for the material but for the simplest of facts that I am with those who matter to me the most.

So today to all of you, those missing someone today, I wish you the strength to get through the day, the wisdom to know the feeling won’t last, and the hope that one day the pain will end xx

Happy Christmas and my thoughts are with you x

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